I, The Daughter Of An Engineer

Are you also the daughter of an engineer? We should form an online club. I could devote an entire blog called "All The Engineers In My Life." It would be a geeky soap opera. Then of course Dad lives for opera, and was a geeky engineer. Before retirement. But back to me. What is life like being the Daughter of an Engineer?

You will never look at a building the same way again. Or a car. Or a bar of soap. Let me tell you why...
Because from henceforth on you will only see the building's blueprint and design, not whether or not you like it or want to rent/buy it. You will think more about how the car operates, pistons and all, than enjoy the seamless ride. You will put off bathing, until you can ascertain the exact chemistry of said bar of soap, and gauge whether the alkalinity/acidity ratio, bases and all is compatible with you, all wildlife, the astrological forecast....

 It was impossible to ask a father who is/was an engineer a simple question, because he had to calculate everything before answering. And he would look up at the ceiling, chin in hand, arms across chest, frowning, till he found the right answer. My father didn't need computers. He was a computer. I felt like I was being raised by a computer. To make matters worse, I was raised in a single parent family. Just my father. The Engineer. Egads.

I almost became an engineer. Sitting in a hen house will not make you a hen, said my motherly friend Rita. She was wrong. Because under enough stress and tension, you will start to forget who you are, and you might just start thinking you are also an engineer. It's contagious. I first wanted to be an artist. Now look what happened to me. All I can think about nowadays is measuring every single item in my domicile with a measuring tape when I'm not conducting surveys and experiments to bring about a tobacco-free world. (Please check out my other blog for strategies to bring about said world.)

 After all, no other way of thinking is encouraged. So what will we cook for dinner? First, we have to go down to the basement and get a level, that tool with the nifty bubbles that have to line up if everything is equally level. And ascertain (that word again) that the stove is absolutely level before attempting to cook. Wait!!! You cannot cook if the frying pan handle is in anyway loose. Must tighten that screw. Where's your toolbox?  I grew up with toolboxes, not sewing machines. After all, I'm the Daughter of an Engineer, and I have a reputation to live up to. Or surpass. But first I must speak at least 5 languages fluently, and try aiming for a Master's or Ph.D. But I digress. Cook we must for we have to eat. To live.

Here he goes again, "But what is the precise dimension of the frying pan? Don't dare make fun of me! If the circumference of the frying pan is not vast enough to accommodate the sausages...and they have to be German, or at least Polish, the sausages...Wait! Stop! We can not eat pork. It's too fatty and will increase our chances of dying prematurely by heart disease, which statistics say is the number one killer. And is that smoke I smell? There will be no smoking in this house! Punishable by a sentence to hard labour in Siberia!"

"Dad, uh, where is Siberia? I'm really hungry. And I'm about to devour all the cookies as this Ph.D. level discourse on useful fats versus hazardous fats reigns on."
Dad replies, "You think I am joking? This is serious. We are Slavic here. We must eat sausages in the mathematically correct frying pan, on the right stove element, not too big, agh! That would utilize unnecessary electricity...."

Fast forward. I met a woman who had been married to an engineer. She said, "Nikki, I feel as if I've known you all my life...."     to be continued
________________________________________________________________________________
(Please note no engineers were harmed in the making of this post. This is a humorous post designed to  make engineering fun and create more women engineers as the world needs more engineers, and women have a unique creative role to play in shaping the world. That being said, as a budding health promotion writer I just want to create a tobacco free world)

No comments:

Post a Comment