People Are Worth Forgiving


People tell me often, "Oh I could never forgive this person or group of people for..."
But I find as I ask more probing questions, it seems these same people do not feel it is right to forgive.  People in the most pain seldom realize that forgiveness would relieve their agony. But still these people reserve forgiveness for many years down the road, often waiting until they "get it together" or until they have a spiritual awakening. To me, I find that forgiveness leads to spiritual awakening.

 But forgiveness in this very moment is much more powerful than magically waiting for "those people" to be worthy of forgiveness. Perhaps it is we who need to forgive, who need to decide that we are worthy to forgive them for wronging us. 

So I write this post from a different perspective. This is not a simple play on words. If the person  who was wronged immediately thought the perpetrators were worthy of forgiveness from day one,  no one would need help in forgiving. Forgiving is an entirely ironic thing. I am telling you that no one need be worthy of forgiveness, yet I am telling you with this post's title that people are worthy of forgiving. The wrong-doer needs the forgiveness like soil needs rain so that new growth can better take place. The wrong-doer can most evolve when accepting the forgiveness as confirmation of his/her humanity and potential for change. Think of forgiveness like a ritual that transforms both the giver and the receiver. For this reason forgiveness is sacred and not to be taken lightly. When we forgive, we set ourselves free and we set the other person free. People are worthy of this, right?

Forgiveness is a prelude to mercy. Mercy means giving people another chance. We would not need to forgive if there were no misdeeds. Of course you've been wronged. Why else would you be at a crossroads feeling compelled to forgive, yet torn in two thinking "they" are not deserving of forgiveness?  A person who has been wronged is angry, and an angry person does not feel like forgiving. But I invite you to see forgiveness differently. I invite you to see it like washing the dishes. And I mean it in the sense of washing your mind clean of all the bitterness, resentment and frustration.

Of course they did something wrong. Otherwise there would be no need to forgive.


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